|
|
Colleges say ease of contact not always good for
first-year students
Michael Brindley, Nashua Telegraph
Article published Aug 24, 2006
Joe Barbato is the second member of the family to head off to college. His
older sister, Victoria, is entering her final year at Boston University.
But for mother Pat Barbato, it isn’t nearly as stressful this time around,
and not just because she’s already let one child go.
This time, her son will be armed with a cell phone and Internet access from
the start. For Barbato, there is a sense of comfort knowing she’ll be able
to reach her son whenever she needs to.
As another round of freshmen venture out to college, they do so equipped
with the latest technology, ensuring parents can keep a watchful eye on
their children’s lives.
Student life officials at two Nashua colleges say they’ve seen both
positives and negatives of that instant communication between parents and
their children.
Communicating via e-mail, instant messaging and cell phone can be a safety
net for many parents, helping to alleviate anxieties.
“But sometimes it adds to it,” and fuels intense parental concern, said
Erika Paradis, the assistant dean of student affairs at Daniel Webster
College.
“It’s all depends on the situation,” she said. “But what we notice now is
students and their parents are connected through technology a lot more than
in the past.”
At Linens ’n Things in Nashua, Barbato and her son, from Acton, Mass.,
shopped for stuff for his dorm room Wednesday. Joe, 18, is heading to
Wentworth Institute of Technology in Boston, moving in Sunday.
Their cart was filled with bed sheets, comforters and a long, narrow mirror
to stick on the wall.
“I don’t know what to expect,” he said, already sporting a T-shirt with the
name of his new school on it.
Barbato doesn’t consider herself a “helicopter” parent, a term used to
describe parents who hover over their children from afar.
She trusts her kids to make the right decisions, she said, and doesn’t feel
the need to intrude on their lives.
But all the new technology allows some parents to get constant updates on
their children’s lives, all the ups and downs, and that can lead to
overstepping boundaries.
“They have instant updates to all of the moans, groans and complaints,” said
Paradis. “The info they’re getting to them is a lot quicker and a lot more
often.”
At Best Buy in Nashua, cell phones are listed as one of the “back to school”
items, along with computers and other electronic devices.
Corey Blanchard, a wireless phone sales associate at the store, said parents
who are shopping with their soon-to-be college students will ask him about
the best deals on phones.
“They all want to keep in touch with their kids at college,” he said.
Schools have found different ways to deal with parents who have a hard time
letting go, constantly checking up and in some cases making it difficult for
their kids to develop a sense of individuality.
Many schools hold parent orientations, where they will explain college is a
time for parents to let go and allow their children to make decisions on
their own.
Paula Randazza, assistant vice president for student development at Rivier
College, said when she arrived at the school 12 years ago, things were much
different when it came to student-parent communication.
There was no e-mail or cell phones, which meant parents would often go
through her office, trying to get a hold of their child.
“Now they’re calling them on their cell phones,” she said. “Communication is
much different.”
Both Daniel Webster and Rivier each house approximately 400 students on
campus. This weekend, freshmen move in, and classes start next week.
An instant pipeline into their children’s lives has led some parents to
actually call professors to complain about a grade, or call the school about
things like roommates not cleaning up after themselves, said Randazza.
“Parents are much more involved in their daily lives. Registering for
classes, signing up for a meal plan,” she said.
Part of the parent orientation process is talking to them about what the
appropriate lines are when dealing with their children’s education, said
Randazza.
Calling your child and setting up a date for lunch? Perfectly fine. Popping
in unannounced on a Friday night? Calling a professor to complain about a
low grade? Not so good.
Paradis said Daniel Webster College also offers orientations for parents,
with similar guidelines and recommendations. Part of college is “knowing how
to be a member of a community and knowing the right channels to go through
to solve problems,” she said.
“We tell them that if your child has a problem with their roommate, we’re
not going to move them right away,” said Paradis. “We want to teach them how
to get along.”
Both Paradis and Randazza stressed the importance of building relationships
with parents.
“I think we do a good job sharing information with families,” said Paradis.
“That helps ease their minds.”
Paradis added that she has started to use the new technology in her job,
communicating with students through instant messaging, alerting them to
campus events or other news.
“You got to get on the bandwagon,” she said, laughing. |
|
|
